If you have kids, you work in life’s What Now? Department. It’s where you find a wild waterfowl residing in your bathroom, epic messes that dwarf the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald, a dreaded can of apricots, the Moby Dick of Christmas lists, dad’s attempt to discreetly remove his riding mower from a pond, mom’s wily social media espionage on her flock, and the nest emptying only to be refilled … by chickens.
Written during the course of 20 years, The Goose in the Bathroom is a collection of short, witty columns that ran in the Poughkeepsie Journal of the USA Today Network from 2000-16. It includes recent updates on the empty nest plus revealing photos and incriminating documents from the Rolfe Archives. Though I mainly present my own brood as evidence of the glorious madness of family life from blessed events to the (voluntary) departure of adult offspring, my goal is to offer timeless, universal experiences that give you a knowing chortle … or at least a rueful snort.
Behold a sample chapter: The Tale of the Dreaded Can of Apricots